5.02.2003

I got an unexpected SMS message late this afternoon from one of the administrators of PEx, Mike's mother died in an accident in Caliraya. Mike's the site designer and one of the founders of the forum, the same guy who gave me a ride the last time the forum Moderators and Administrators had dinner in Makati early this month. The news came as a shock even though I didn't really know him that well, I could only text back and ask for his number to let him know that I empathize with him in his time of grief. But when I got the number and I was composing a message my mind went blank. What do you say to a man who just lost his mother? All the messages I tried to compose came off too imposing or too distant. I gave up after three attempts and sent a text message back to my friend asking for some news as they come. I could only empathize with Mike's family, usually in times of sadness and grief the mother would be there to console the others with her presence and love. But what happens if it's the beloved wife and mother who goes ahead of the others? Who then would bring the same consolation to the others?

About an hour ago, on my way back to the shop from the bookstore, I thought of the events again and how fleeting life could turn out to be. Some people would just live life the way they please without any thought of its impact in light of eternity. Sometimes I find myself asking, what would people say about me when I die? How many lives have I impacted for the better? What would God say to me when I meet him? Would he affirm my life as something that pleased him? I read in a book somewhere about the wishes of a faithful servant and how he wanted to be remembered by three simple words written on his tombstone: He loved God. I also want the same.