"How do you know exactly when you find your true love?" This was my first question to my friend Lee last night on our way to the bus stop. It was already past two in the morning and we just came from our newly married friend's husband's apartment in Makati. Theirs was a whirlwind romance but it wasn't a case of love at first sight. Aesthetically speaking, they weren't ready for the meeting and when they saw the other each thought that it wouldn't work out. But after spending some time opening up to each other their fears and expections they began to fall in love. It all went too fast and the skeptical side of me wants to see how it will turn out when the honeymoon stage is over. Then I realized that maybe the reason the courtship seemed to go too fast was because they started searching for each other years ago. Here are two lonely souls looking for another opportunity to love and be loved and it was fortunate enough they found each other.

My friend and I discussed a lot about our views on relationships and the risks involved. One of the things that stuck to my head was his answer to to our friend's realiztion on marriage: Choosing to get married involves a great risk, in the same way that choosing not to get married also involves a great risk. I'm now teetering in between these two decisions, on one hand the pangs of loneliness have been pushing me to be proactive and on the other multiple fears brought about by previous betrayals are pulling me back to my comfort zone. I really, really, really wanna have somebody to share my life with I'm just too scared to do something about it. So much so I'm even scared of asking God to send her my way. I'm scared that he would answer my prayers before I'm even ready. Darn fear.