When they say "That's what friends are for" or "What are friends for?" does that mean that you're supposed to fulfill a role or something? That one is expected to do something that friends are supposed to do? Some people are bothered by that fact, they feel like that they have to perform or something to gain the other's approval. I suppose with the second statement they could actually be degrading themselves. Then again, maybe I'm just reading too much on something that doesn't mean anything.

They're talking about counting friends in 103.5 K-lite and I just got to thinking about the people in my life who just suddenly ups and leaves without any rationale. The story of my life where everybody I'm getting close suddenly disappears. A lot of thoughts came to mind and one of them deals with the issue of burning bridges. Should I or shouldn't I? Should I just close the doors instead? I do have a lot of acquaintances and out of those I don't know who my friends are. Sad isn't it? The memory of the pain pops up every now and then whenever I'm alone. Right now I feel like I'm hopping from one person to the other with no anchor whatsoever. Or maybe harbor is the more appropriate term. I feel too bloody old to start all over again and there's this underlying fear that the same thing could happen again. Maybe, just maybe, I tend to gravitate towards people who are like that. If it that's the case am I doomed to live that way for life? The only way I'm dealing with it right now is to withdraw and trust sparingly. But that sucks big time!

Not to miss the big picture though I'm still thankful for the people around me who manage to make me laugh and to those few that are willing to ask and listen. That inspite of me they still stick around and whup me good when it's needed. That there are still these people who count me in their list of close friends. If anything they're one of the reason why life is still worth living. Yeah... at least I'm never out of those.


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