I haven't had a very good ending to yesterday. It's all about the artists' support group meeting last night. No, I can't blame anyone about what happened. I was expecting to start a very good discussion last night after being interrupted last week, I arrived there at the place and everyone was gathered talking about their basketball game and I thought where does that leave me? I can't relate to their games for two reasons: I don't play basketball, much less any kind of sports and second I wasn't involved in any of the groups having their tournament. Then some people butt in and blocked my view and any chance of discussion with the others for more than a solid hour. To add insult to injury, my friend went with his friend downstairs and left me on my own. I can't believe I just sat there sandwiched between two groups talking to each other. I didn't have the mood to do anything and I didn't want to make a show out of it by walking out. This happened for almost an hour and a half, and in those times I just rehearsed some lines I wanted to say but couldn't like "Ever had those times when you come to a meeting and you go out feeling like you have accomplished nothing?" I wanted to stare at the instigators of the disruptions and hurl dagger looks their way. There were moments when I wanted to lash out at my friend for inviting some people who did nothing but interrupt the meeting and leaving me to fend for myself. I would have done so in the past and thankfully I'm not like that anymore.

Before the group broke up for the night, I left some word that we'll start again next Friday at an earlier time. I smiled to hide my disappointment. After getting out of the place I said my goodbyes and walked away without ever looking back. I sometimes blamed myself for what happened, I should have been more aggressive and I should have arrived a tad earlier. A lot of "should haves..." Would that have made a difference? Discovered a site for Christians who suffer from depression. Makes me feel better knowing there are others who know what I'm going through sometimes. I'll discuss more about this later. Maybe tomorrow.


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