5.29.2003

They say that confession is good for the soul, that's why I have another confession to make. Do you know when things said or done are too good to be true that you tend to think that indeed they are? You can still strike a balance somewhere in there. The problem begins when you have been assured over and over that it's not the case. Take my friend from high school for instance. I have so much problems with my self-esteem that back then I thought that I was born to be a welcome mat. You also know how it is in high school were people project themselves to be larger than life. This friend of mine, well we weren't friends back then, was the ring leader of the nastiest bullies in school so I was constantly in awe. Fast forward to the present where I'm now reaping good rewards for the talent God has given me. Those people I was in awe of and whose antics I laughed at are now the "stars" of a comic strip that I'm doing. Friend winds up of the news after being informed by me through mail about his character, and now it's his turn to be in awe of what I'm doing. He treats me like a long lost friend everytime we meet and it's good. Seems like I'm now vindicated after all those years, he gives me some privileges (I'm one of the very select who are invited to his upcoming wedding, he invites me to his office and his weekly get-togethers with his gang, he wants to finance the publication of my book, etc.) and I'm here thinking... is this too good to be true? I'm thinking that something's still screwy with my self-esteem here to be thinking this way up until now.

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